Politics & Other Mistakes (68)

Do nothing ‘till you hear from me

The Maine Legislature doesn’t like to be told what to do. That’s because the Legislature would prefer not doing anything. For a politician, doing stuff is risky. No matter how innocuous the action (a proclamation declaring National Don’t Do A Damn Thing Day), there are going to be people who won’t like it (probably the Alliance of Highly Motivated Doers). Once legislators are on record for or against, the folks annoyed with whatever they did…

Looking for the next bad thing

Rick Bennett isn’t going to be Maine’s next governor.   Too bad.   Bennett is probably what the state needs: a fiscal conservative with common sense and no pathological aversion to compromise. In other words, he’s 10 percent like current Gov. Paul LePage and 90 percent not.   One other difference: Bennett is pro-choice, LePage pro-life. With the U.S. Supreme Court likely to overturn or restrict Roe v. Wade, abortion is going to be a…

Don’t know much about history

Welcome to History 101 at Trump University. I’m your professor, Gov. Paul LePage.   In this class, you’ll learn the true history of the United States, free of political correctness and so-called scientific facts. After completing this course, you’ll see the world in a new light. A white light.   Let’s start where our problems began — with the Big Bang. This was a socialist plot to redistribute all matter equally, a sort of cosmic…

Smells like Bean spirit

I don’t like Linda Bean.   It’s not about politics. My negative attitude has nothing to do with Bean being fined for excessive donations to a political action committee she set up to support Donald Trump’s presidential candidacy. Compared to her previous sins, that’s nothing.   Nevertheless, there have been calls by liberal activists to boycott L.L. Bean, the Freeport retailer, because Bean is a part-owner and a member of its board. If I accepted…

Do you trust the mainstream media?

Those alt-right weirdos say a lot of nasty stuff about the mainstream media. They might have a point. It’s not that I buy into the complaint that reporters and editors at daily newspapers and TV stations have a liberal bias. For the most part, that isn’t true. To have a bias, they’d have to know something about the subjects they’re reporting on. Often, that’s not the case. What makes it easy to dismiss much of…

On the Governor's Proposed Budget

I like Republican Gov. Paul LePage’s new budget. Really. No, I haven’t lost my mind, although that remains a possible excuse for future columns. And my newfound respect for LePage’s fiscal prowess isn’t the result of bad drugs, because the doctor assured me any side effects wouldn’t alter my political philosophy. I’m as clear-headed as I ever am this early in the morning (noon). I just like this budget. Sure, it contains some items that…

The pleasure and the greed

I’ve got this great idea for a new law. It would be titled “An Act To Give Free Beer To Al Diamon For The Rest Of His Life.” If this bill got approved by the Legislature and signed by the governor, I could walk into any bar in the state and drink as many brewskis as I want on the taxpayers’ tab. Also, the public would be leaving a nice tip, because no matter what…

You Can't Say That

The trouble with the right to free speech is other people’s vocal cords. They insist on flapping them to utter obnoxious noises. Also, other people’s computers, used to produce ridiculous postings. And let’s not forget other people’s fingers, which operate the aforementioned computers, light matches to burn American flags and flip us the bird when we politely suggest they conceal their ignorance by shutting their pie holes. “Why they’ve got to go make these silly…

The "M Word," It's legal, but still controversial

It’s legal. But it’s still controversial. Its health benefits are debatable. But that doesn’t deter its advocates from making outrageous claims. And no matter where you buy it, it’ll be strictly regulated just like alcohol, tobacco and firearms. But for far more dubious reasons. After decades of political upheaval, Maine and the nation are still trying to come to terms with how to regulate a seemingly benign agricultural product with a name that begins with…

Everybody is freaking out about fake news

Stop the freak-out. Everybody should relax. Fake news is a big improvement over real news. Let’s consider some examples. Real: “Maine Democrats announce a new plan to address the state’s economic and social problems.” Fake: “Maine Democrats admit they are a bunch of hopeless wusses, who’ve been trying to conceal the fact they have no clue how to deal with difficult issues.” Oddly enough, what’s technically fake comes uncomfortably close to being the truth. Over…
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