Al Diamon

Al Diamon

The ballad of the Hulk

In the comic-book world of Maine politics, the conservative think tank called the Maine Heritage Policy Center has often played the role of Dr. Bruce Banner, the tortured soul whose body harbors a gamma-ray-created monster called the Incredible Hulk.

Portrayed by Republican Gov. Paul LePage.

Careful what you say

If it weren’t for the First Amendment’s guarantee of free speech, I’d have to get a real job. But the qualifications listed in help-wanted ads almost never mention contempt for authority, indifferent personal hygiene and prodigious consumption of beer, rendering me ill-suited to anything resembling regular employment.

You shouldn’t have bought it when you saw it at …

The trait his supporters like most about Paul LePage is also the flaw that makes him a failure as governor.

Fans of the Republican chief executive claim they love that he’s not a politician. He says whatever he thinks — without considering the consequences. He disregards the facts — fabricating factoids as he goes along. He makes enemies — out of folks who ought to be friends.

Who’s crazy?

POLITICS & OTHER MISTAKES

Which side in the debate over General Assistance is correct?

That’s easy.

None of them.

Certainly not the city of Portland, which admits it regularly and knowingly allowed people with assets ranging from $20,000 to as much as $160,000 to stay in its homeless shelter on the taxpayers’ tab. Portland’s excuse is that these folks were suffering from mental illnesses that somehow made it impossible for them – or anyone else – to manage their affairs. Rather than attempt to correct that situation, the city opted to let them occupy its limited shelter space, because it could always bill the state for the cost.

Alligator stomp

POLITICS & OTHER MISTAKES

Maine does a great job of figuring out the cost of maintaining its transportation infrastructure. Every year, the state releases a detailed report showing how much it needs to provide safe passage across the landscape for residents and tourists, whether by automobile, rail, or teleportation device.

County lines

Nominations are now open for the person who most

resembles county government in Maine.

First up is Alex Rodriguez. The disgraced New York

Yankee is expensive, unproductive and obnoxious. If there

were three of him, he’d be a county commission. Except with

bigger muscles and smaller testicles.

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