Did you ever get cut off in traffic and wish you were driving a five-ton monster truck, so you could simply drive over your road-rage opponent from back bumper to hood, with glass popping all the way as their car’s frame collapses? How about that co-worker who always parks halfway into your space? Maybe just park your monster with one of its five-and-a-half foot tires resting on his fender. Oh, the possibilities.
These fantasies can be performed before your eyes, at the Traxxas Monster Truck Destruction Tour, at the Cross Insurance Arena (1 Civic Center Sq) on Friday, April 21 at 7:30 p.m. and Saturday, April 22 at 1:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Tickets are available at http://www.crossarenaportland.com/events/Traxxxs__Monster_Trucks_Destruction_Tour (careful of the misspelling of ‘Traxxas’), starting at $26.00 for adults and $11.00 for kids aged 3 to 12. Children 2 and under get in free, but organizers advise that babies aren’t usually huge fans of the noise and exhaust fumes.
An iteration of the tour comes to Maine every other year, and drivers look forward to visiting us. Greg Winchenbach, driver of the Crushstation (“The Monstah Lobstah”), who grew up in Jefferson, Maine, especially relishes the returns, telling a Bangor news outlet that “coming here is the best place to race.” But don’t worry, the monstrous machines won’t simply be driving in circles. Winchenbach also mentioned “creating … carnage everywhere” as a top draw.
Trucks that will be at the Arena this weekend include Skully (“Crushing the competition head on!”), Craniac (“Crazy in the cranium!”), Tuff Guy (“Do you dare to find out!?”), and more. We don’t know where the unfortunate regular-sized cars in the ring are going to come from, but we know where they’re going. Local scrapyards are going to experience an influx.
Fans can purchase a Pit Party Pass for an additional fee to gain access to drivers, who will pose for pictures and sign autographs. With an admission ticket, a Pit Party Pass (or a VIP ticket), and ten bucks cash, you can take a quick ride in one of the monster trucks.
As if that weren’t enough roaring engines and utter destruction to get you going, here’s the best part: keep an eye out for Megasaurus, a three-story tall, fire breathing, car-eating dinosaur. Wouldn’t you like to have that, when someone passes you on the right?